All Our Problems Are Solved! Obama Takes On Africa

Unemployment is at it's highest point in years, folks are losing their livelihoods daily. National industries are being socialized left and right. People are being kicked from their homes. The Federal government as well as state governments are virtually bankrupt. We have a "leader" that panders to our enemies and spits on our allies. We have a uberliberal supermajority that's shoving one of the biggest lies in our history, man-made global warming, down our throats and soon enough will be hitting our pockets. These troglodytes are considering a SECOND stimulus. We have an economy that keeps getting worse by the day. So what does Dear Leader do?

Sends money to Africa.

No, really.

Yet again following in the footsteps of his infamous predecessor, Barack Hussein Obama has decided that since our money is going to be virtually worthless in the next few years, he may as well throw away a few more million. George W. Bush has squandered spent more money on Africa than any other sitting president, and I'm sure that Obama won't miss this opportunity to throw even more capital into this money pit. Make no mistake; the money only goes to line the pockets of endlessly corrupt African leaders is well-spent and goes towards a dictatorial worthy cause, so this is a sure sign that Obama is full of shit has solved all the economic problems in this country already so he's already supporting others financially.

Obama has stated that African nations need to stop focusing on one particular commodity, such as AIDS , AK-47s , voodoo oil or cocoa, and also added that African leaders can't just enrich themselves with "stimulus" money and let their own people starve and die like they always do. "No business wants to invest in a place where the government skims 20 percent off the top, or the head of the Port Authority is corrupt," he said. "No person wants to live in a society where the rule of law gives way to the rule of brutality and bribery. That is not democracy, that is tyranny, even if occasionally you sprinkle an election in there", Dear Leader stated.

You know what? I'm an open-minded kind of guy. I'm sure that this money will be used to build their economy and turn a continent which most resembles 20,000 B.C. into a first-world country in no time. Obama will cure AIDS, teach Africans not to smoke HIV medication, stop rampant rape-as-a-career, cure African hunger even though they eat the seeds we send them to plant their own crops, and African leaders will soon become respectable human beings that care about their people rather than their own fat bank accounts.

Yes, this will result in epic failure work out beautifully.

Is A Second Spendulus On The Way? Joe "Can't Shut Up" Biden Says They "Misread" The Economy

To preface, let's start with some statistics on how well this Democratic payback plan, i.e. the spendulus bill, has been benefiting average Americans.

• Projected to amount to nearly $10 Trillion worth of debt in the next ten years; an amount that even the healthiest economy would take generations to pay back.
• We're broke.
  
• Unemployment is at a 26 year high, hovering at 9.5% with double-digits not in the too distant future.
• Almost 3 million more jobs have been lost than expected. People's unemployment is soon going to run out.
• We're broke.
  
• Wall Street just hit a 10-week low.
  
• Outrageous spending bills introduced, most notably Cap & Trade. Let's not forget about National Healthcare.
• We're broke.

However, as per the usual, the Democrats still are not satisfied. Outside Obama adviser Laura Tyson has actually proposed a second stimulus that is aimed at the economy. Apparently, by her own admittance, this one was not. The current $787 billion Democratic spendulus and payback bill was apparently "too small"; I guess the campaign donors are more like loan sharks than supporters. I heard Hollywood isn't such a cheap group, either.

According to Tyson, the US will not inflate away it's debt and the trustworthy Federal Reserve Board will "not allow it". Tyson also claims that the US, a country whose administration can not find or create jobs for anyone that doesn't line their pockets directly, can "afford" a second spendulus. Either she's living in the Twilight Zone or some pretty incredible medical marijuana was earmarked for the district she lives in.



Vice President Joseph "I Can't Believe They Haven't Sedated Me Into A Coma Yet" Biden, in a recent interview with George Step-on-all-of-us of ABC, claims that the administration has "misread" the economy. I'm not exactly sure how one can "misread" something that wasn't even read in the first place - i.e. the stimulus bill. Biden has also mentioned that the idea of a second stimulus is not too far-fetched, relinquishing on the statement that China isn't exactly looking forward to lending us billions more dollars that they most likely won't see a penny of until some time in the 3rd millennium.

Where do we get the money? Where the hell are we going to get the money to payback the money we already borrowed? Obama is treating America and China as his own personal piggy bank, and the hole just keeps getting deeper.

Time to start looking for caves in the woods.