All Our Problems Are Solved! Obama Takes On Africa

Unemployment is at it's highest point in years, folks are losing their livelihoods daily. National industries are being socialized left and right. People are being kicked from their homes. The Federal government as well as state governments are virtually bankrupt. We have a "leader" that panders to our enemies and spits on our allies. We have a uberliberal supermajority that's shoving one of the biggest lies in our history, man-made global warming, down our throats and soon enough will be hitting our pockets. These troglodytes are considering a SECOND stimulus. We have an economy that keeps getting worse by the day. So what does Dear Leader do?

Sends money to Africa.

No, really.

Yet again following in the footsteps of his infamous predecessor, Barack Hussein Obama has decided that since our money is going to be virtually worthless in the next few years, he may as well throw away a few more million. George W. Bush has squandered spent more money on Africa than any other sitting president, and I'm sure that Obama won't miss this opportunity to throw even more capital into this money pit. Make no mistake; the money only goes to line the pockets of endlessly corrupt African leaders is well-spent and goes towards a dictatorial worthy cause, so this is a sure sign that Obama is full of shit has solved all the economic problems in this country already so he's already supporting others financially.

Obama has stated that African nations need to stop focusing on one particular commodity, such as AIDS , AK-47s , voodoo oil or cocoa, and also added that African leaders can't just enrich themselves with "stimulus" money and let their own people starve and die like they always do. "No business wants to invest in a place where the government skims 20 percent off the top, or the head of the Port Authority is corrupt," he said. "No person wants to live in a society where the rule of law gives way to the rule of brutality and bribery. That is not democracy, that is tyranny, even if occasionally you sprinkle an election in there", Dear Leader stated.

You know what? I'm an open-minded kind of guy. I'm sure that this money will be used to build their economy and turn a continent which most resembles 20,000 B.C. into a first-world country in no time. Obama will cure AIDS, teach Africans not to smoke HIV medication, stop rampant rape-as-a-career, cure African hunger even though they eat the seeds we send them to plant their own crops, and African leaders will soon become respectable human beings that care about their people rather than their own fat bank accounts.

Yes, this will result in epic failure work out beautifully.